It is hard to have children and go through a divorce, especially if it is not an amicable split. The kids are almost always going to be affected, so keeping them isolated from as many of the proceedings as possible seems to just make sense. If there is a question as to who should have custody, you can enlist the help of a child custody lawyer to help you, but remember, this is going to take the kids out of that bubble you had them in and without question is going to make things harder on everyone involved.
The hardest part about a divorce is deciding what is best for the children. The custody of the kids can be divided very equally, but keep in mind that the number of times the kids are transitioning back and forth can be very difficult for them. If you set up joint custody agreement that has them changing households every other week, they may not want to be away from friends and what they have known as home that often. When you are determining what you think is fair, keep the kids' best interests in mind, not just what you think you deserve. A good child custody lawyer can help if you are not able to work this part out between the two of you.
The Law and Custody
If you can not come to an agreement where the kids are concerned, a child custody lawyer can go through the legal proceedings with you and present your case to the judge and let them make the decision. If you get to this point and the court has to decide where the kids will spend their time, don't expect the judge to side with you just because you think they should. The letter of the law is going to determine things at this point, and you will need to present a solid case outlining why you should have them. The lawyer can help get everything in order, but once in court, they will present the case and hope for a favorable ruling.
If you believe that there is a problem or that the children are not in a stable home, you can hire a custody lawyer to help present your case to the court and get the initial custody reviewed and changed. If the kids have been safe and healthy, reversing the ruling is very unlikely but if there is cause, the lawyer will help you determine what needs to be presented to the judge and make a case for removing the children from the home. If you go this route, you need to make sure you can provide for the children and be able to show that court as much. You lawyer will walk you through the process, so let them lead and set the pace.